I had a chance to experiment with some lights and it is not often I take pictures of myself. I tend to be on the backside of a camera, I also find myself liking to be one snapping photos rather than become them. I don’t know if many can relate to that but that is some transparency from myself to you. I think I will try to do more things that are out of my comfort zone and bring more artistic spin to my work; I enjoyed the task and am excited to see where this can lead. Yes yes yes.
It has been a chilled set of months and now we are stretching through the soil, yearning for spring - true spring. The kind of spring that warms your face and smells of rain. Little Louise has grown in ways my mind cannot keep up with. He twists and turns, smiles and cries, reaches and slobs on everything and I can not love it all enough! We also added one more under our roof. My mother-in-law Peggy, who is a superhero all on her own, watches this growing little bean when the wife and I work, work, work for meals that fatten the cats and fill our bones. It is a blessed time. More than blessed.
There are pages in the baby book Ashley and I bought, you see, pages that need to be filled out. Pages that ask and crave ink as if to create a tale, a story about the journey down river. These persons, these pages, need an identity like, “first bath,” and “first birthday,” but we make persons where none is found! We had our first Christmas and instead of writing it down we pictured it. With the evolution of storytelling, my family did the telling through photos and poses, through food and laughter. It was a mildly cold holiday with a new holiday feel to be felt, as Louise dressed up as the present giver himself, Saint Nick.
From our walls at home to the carpets of my grandmothers we set Christmas cheer! We “ho, ho, ho’d” and “ha, ha, ha’d!'“ There was a family, generations of us gathered together under a sound roof, with sleigh bells ringing from up above and the stomachs of our eyes full from authentic Mexican cookin’ and smiles! Louise found himself in another outfit, fitted with a bow tie and suspenders that made my eyes water with joy! Ohh wee what a night. Presents unwrapped and awes unraveled, love was oh so present in the Christmas air.
I did not wait for a present under the tree this year, in fact, the wife and I put one under it ourselves. A gift from the warmest of chimneys, the deepest depths of our hearts to the world…and when I had thought I felt everything there is to feel, I was here. I was at this moment. I felt anew and fell in love all over again, again. There is God in everything we do, we see and what we don’t see. This, I can assure you, reveals it so.
After a bit of a hiccup during my headstrong college walk, Ashley and I ventured across the Great American Plains, floating East to the start of our nations civilization. The dirt turned from brown to red and became clay. The flatlands ate and grew like sweet children into men and women, influential and sky-bound, regarding conditions we would not have before. 20 hours later we were at the start of our new journey, you see we still had the issue of the cat. I say cat because that was it was and the issue revolved around the feline and given our new but temporary home, the four-legged fur member could not stay with us at that particular time - solution? We drive the family down to Florida where my father-in-law resigned and drop off the cat, with love, until we could find a suitable home for us all. Adding another day to our journey. So, we drove. The Florida air was steamy, heavy and has no bounds with personal space. The cars just drive, people just go and we found this to become more and more true the further south we found ourselves. The ocean was cold and dad was groovy. He did what fathers do, giving us a room, food, and council, asking about our lives and where it might be heading, all the while laughing and sharing stories. It was painful to leave but our lives needed to start in South Carolina.
A bit of time went by, a couple of seasons and money gathering lead us to find our first home together. A 2 bedroom apartment with nothing to go in it was the warmest thing I have ever unearthed. More seasons go by and slowly the home became loud, lively and full of color. Something one might see as trivial but to me, to us I think, it was more than such. It was home. It was a step toward God and finding out the meaning of life. It was little but it was big.
Our new home
In our everyday lives, where the tires don’t stop and everything is going, go, go it is nice to just sit, sit, convene. At times it feels like the holidays is what arranges the family together anymore. This year, like the last, I spent my days in South Carolina with the part of my family I did not grow up with but visited during my adolescence. The dinner was filling and I envied time for the moment on which I was seeing, perceiving, as it would be one I think back on for all of the seconds to follow. It was my first feast with my son and his first with his father and mother. His soul was stellar and even though I was full he still found ways to completely enlighten me.
When days start out rough and there is a valley being walked I just remember that the sun will still slumber, the moon with fattening agenda and rust will too fall asleep. I remember that there is always a time to eat and a time for love. I remember November.
I grew up in the good’ol Midwest - fields of gold forged from seed and flat dirt eyed for miles and miles. This is one of the last photos I took before leaving. On the 21 day in April, we set out on an adventure, trotting on new grounds. Ashley and I found this man made flower. We went seeking wander and planned our escape from suburban life. With success it seems! It was absolutely sky breaking, huge both in width and height. Fun find in the western part of Kansas.
Man Made Flower
